My Susie

Does it matter that you would never love me back

you would never know that I loved you in the first place?

 

Does it matter that my love might not be real,

my love for you is the projection of my loneliness?

 

Does it matter that I want to kiss you, hug you, touch you,

I want to be intimate with your body but not you?

 

Does it matter that I take a photo of you smoking,

I look at the white smoke in the air but not you?

 

Does it matter that I miss you when you're gone,

I miss all the fun you expose me to, and not you yourself?

 

Does it matter that you are my sexual fantasy,

the fantasy of getting attention from somebody?

 

Does it matter that I want to protect you, 

you don't need my protection but friendship?

 

Does it matter that it ruins our friendship,

the friendship made out of sisterhood and qorbat?

 

Does it matter that you're beautiful and way out of my league,

I'm the pathetic loser who cannot meet your needs?

 

Does it matter that you know how to live your life, 

I am lost and clueless with no dream?

 

Does it matter that I want you to say you like me first,

you would never say you like me in million years?

 

Does it matter that you remember my birthday and I take it personally, 

you remember all your friends' birthdays and there is nothing personal about it?

 

Does it matter that you offer to share a bedroom with me, not once, not twice, but four times,

I take it to my heart and imagine you're sending me signals?

 

Does it matter that I catch you recording me and I blush,

you record and take photos of all your friends?

 

Does it matter that I want you to have the best birthday of your life cause I love you,

you think I'm planning a party to have fun?

 

Does it matter that this is all a big crush, what is crush, crush is not real,

you're real and I want you for real?